When Things Fall Apart, Here’s an Essential Reframe
When things begin to fall apart, it’s important to reframe.
All of life is constantly in flux, yet when things fall apart, it can often feel as though we are back in familiar old patterns and that nothing much has changed.
It can be hard to pull yourself together when things don’t go according to your best intentions. It is especially heartbreaking to watch this happen to clients. Most people come to coaching because they are ready to create change. They are ready to work hard for what they want.
Breakdown Before Breakthrough
Yet, a breakdown before the breakthrough is not uncommon.
‘Before every breakthrough is a breakdown. You must break down old habits, ideas and beliefs before you can breakthrough to a new existence’ – Melissa Binkley.
The question to ask is – ‘how long will you let yourself languish in the falling apart, the breakdown, the transformation?’
Having witnessed the breakdown before the breakthrough countless times in the lives of my clients as well as my own life, the answer to the question is this: As long as it takes.
A Feminine Shift
A feminine shift is a shift towards a deep honouring of the feminine ways of being. The feminine impulse is cyclic, seasonal and mercurial. It is a spiral and not a straight line.
We are so conditioned into patriarchal, masculine and linear ways of being that it is easy to make ourselves wrong for not taking a linear, externally directed path. What if you could give yourself permission to allow yourself to be right for honouring your cyclic nature? What if you required an entire season or even two (that’s a whole 3 months or more) to be in the uncertainty, the breakdown, the inward focus, before you emerged from the chrysalis?
What if you were able to create space for a winter period, where there may not appear to be much productivity outwardly, but your soul growth and inner work was prioritised instead? Society may not value this inner growth (it’s a feminine, inward facing concept rather than an externally facing masculine concept so it hasn’t been given the value it deserves) but that doesn’t mean you can’t personally assert and reframe this growth as an expansion of your richness, your wisdom and your life experience. There are far more important things than the material ones that society places so much emphasis upon.
Take Pause and Let Go
Next time you catch yourself in the process of falling apart, take pause to see how liberating it feels to just let yourself go. Go forth gently into the unravelling with an awareness that your feminine nature loves to venture into uncertainty, the spontaneity of not-knowing and barely moonlit places that rely upon intuition, trust and faith more than any five or ten year plan. Commit to intuition, faith and trust above the material and know that benevolence needs to pull certain things apart in order to remodel and reshape them for true change to happen.
Questions for Lisa?
You can reach out to her directly from her contact page on her website.