We all have 6 core needs. What are your top 2? You’ll find these are the drivers for many of your decisions. It’s really helpful to know your top 2 because they may be conflicting with where your desired destination is or you may be attempting to meet them unresourcefully. Our 6 top core needs (from Awaken the Giant Within – Anthony Robbins) are:
- The need for certainty: although we love to be secure and certain, there is really no certainty in life. As women, developing the courage to see what we can change and accept what we can’t takes great awareness. I realised there were mistakes that needed to be corrected in my first ezine and my website is still a work in progress. However, if I’d satisfied my need for certainty unresourcefully, I would never have been able to move forward and deliver the information that could potentially help others. Being prepared to accept imperfection and moving forward anyway is one way to keep growing and learning – business is a series of constant and never-ending improvement and adjustment (CANI). I encourage you to act and adjust rather than staying still and stuck. What can you act on today that will make a difference to your life?
- The need for uncertainty: notice how this directly contrasts number one. Another way of seeing uncertainty is to reframe it as ‘variety or adventure.’ Some of us value uncertainty more than certainty because it gives us the variety and spice of life that makes things interesting and keeps life a passion-filled quest. Ask the question: am I fulfilling my need for uncertainty resourcefully or unresourcefully? Meeting this need unresourcefully is reflected in rebellious behaviour like overspending, doing overwhelm, going on holidays you can’t afford and sabotaging your appointments and commitments to others. Watch and be aware of how you meet this need. Challenging yourself with new activities and being creative are feminine ways to meet this need.
- The need for significance: feeling important, wanted and needed are basic human needs. How are you fulfilling your need for significance? Being a Divine Feminine Leader means taking control of your life and others, speaking up about an issue or a belief that matters to you and taking notice of the fierce lioness archtype inside you that wants to roar with truth and justice. Becoming aware of where your need for significance is showing up in less functional ways means having insight into the moments where your anger gets control of you, where you slip into blame or victim mode and where you find it hard to rise above the mud that comes with being in business and being human. We all have our challenging days but leadership comes with a responsibility to serve others and leave your problems at the door of the divine. We don’t need to micro-manage the universe. We are safe and deeply significant in the eyes of the divine.
- Love and connection: if we can’t meet our need for love, we’ll settle for connection. Love is a supportive sharing place to be with another human being. Studies have shown that women release serotonin (the body’s own natural anti-depressant) when we connect with other women in circle or emotional sharing. If we don’t love the core essence of our business and what we stand for, our motivation can suffer, our energy levels lag and our finances dwindle. Being driven by love is one of the fastest ways to ignite your drive and pass through challenging situations with ease.
- Growth: the reason we are constantly seeking new knowledge and wisdom is part of our fundamental drive as human beings. It’s natural to want to do this, so relax and accept your curiosity.
- Contribution: serving others, being involved in something larger than ourselves and being able to give wholeheartedly are major parts of being in business. One way of passing through any obstacle is to see how we can contribute to others. If we make our businesses all about us, we run the risk of missing opportunities to contribute in meaningful ways and leave a true legacy.
Women do business differently to men. We like to take time to make decisions and we are emotionally driven. Work out what your core drivers are and be aware of whether you meet these in functional or dysfunctional ways so that you can come back to the centred place of self-awareness that allows you to serve and deliver the deeper soul purpose of your life.