The definition of attenuation is ‘the gradual loss in intensity of any kind of flux through a medium.’ A core wound is a belief that we have formed as a child about who we are which doesn’t serve us. It usually occurs as a result of a defining moment. During this defining moment, we form a belief. For example, a client recalled being a young child, shutting herself away in her bedroom to escape from a fight her parents were having. She was frightened by the loud noise and the steadily increasing alcohol influenced behaviour. The core belief she formed at that time was that she was all alone in the world and that it was important for her to rise above her situation and escape it when she was old enough. These beliefs were no longer serving her as an adult as they were creating a deep loneliness and a desire to escape intimacy whenever she got close to someone. Even though she was yearning for a relationship, she would sabotage it as soon as it looked as though it would develop. Attenuating her core wound meant revisiting the defining moment. Using Neurolinguistic timeline techniques, I was able to take the client back to the time her belief was formed and re-live the experience, this time with more positive resources. In this instance, the attenuation medium was that of being ‘witnessed by another’. In the witnessing process, the fluctuations in perception and the attendant emotional fall-out lost their intensity and new associations and perceptions were found. Changing a belief can drastically change a reality.
In the case of a rising tidal wave or a roller coaster of emotions, the following steps may assist you
- Don’t be afraid to cry. An weeping session, a sobbing space, an ugly open-mouthed howl – these are all great ways to experience relief. Give yourself space and permission to cry if you need to. It’s amazing how much better you’ll feel. Divinity often shows up in tears. Crying diminishes the flux of your emotion.
- Find a witness. Having someone who is a skilful witness allows the wound to surface with safety. A skilful witness is one who imbues trust, non-judgement and is able to listen. A skilful witness does not impose value judgement or opinion but is able to hold space for you while you express what is happening for you.
- Be honest. There are a gamut of feelings and emotions that have been considered dangerous by new- ageism. Having a fear of negative emotions due to the belief that these are harmful can be more harmful than feeling the emotion itself. Being honest about how we feel can be deeply freeing. When we admit that we are angry, sad or fearful, it attenuates the feeling. Often the feeling may have been trapped like an errant child, waiting for permission to exist. When it is given permission to move through you, it loses its power.
- Be compassionate. When we are in the process of facing core wounds that may have been problematic for us since childhood, it can bring out aspects to our character and nature that we would rather not face. It is essential to grieve the loss of opportunities we may have experienced as a result of our unresourceful state. There is no such thing as an unresourceful person, only an unresourceful state of being. Being compassionate and forgiving ourselves for behaving in ways that were unresourceful is one of the more effective ways of putting attenuation into motion.
- Smack a pillow. The relief of finally being able to move through powerful emotions such as anger, frustration, betrayal by punching a pillow really hard cannot be underestimated. Go ahead – give it an almighty smacking with both fists and let the emotion surge through you. It’s probably been trapped for a long time and it will lose its grip on you as soon as you provide it with a channel.